Ember Pilati from Emerge Empowered is joining us on the podcast today. She is sharing her story about being a recovering perfectionist and learning to have self love.
In high school Ember was involved in so many things. She is telling her story about how that worked for her. She explains how her worth came from her accomplishments. Ember graduated high school, and while finishing college she was able to fulfill her dream of owning a dance studio. During her time as a dance studio owner, she also became a mother. Her life was all about how much she could do and accomplish.
However, relying on her perfectionism and being able to “do it all” started to come to a head as a dance studio owner, a mother of 2 small kids. Her worth was to be all about her to-do list and wondering, how much did I get accomplished? How well did I do them? Life progressed as it always had in her perfectionism state.
After Ember had her 4th baby, her husband began an EMBA (so he was gone all day, most days), it was winter and she was trying to adjust to having 4 kids, postpartum depression hit her hard. She was able to get the help needed and able to move forward. Then, a couple years later, another baby came along as an unexpected gift to their family. Being a mother of 5 is something she had never planned. She had been a planner, and perfectionist and this was not part of it!
Ember teaches us that perfectionism is just the dressed up fear of not being enough.
Ember gives us 3 tools to help us really overcome perfectionism and really relish in the reality of our lives, and have self-love. Perfectionism is just the dressed up fear of not being enough.
- Learn to love your whole self.
- Accepting Reality.
- Focus on what you have control of.