Just keep showing up. Showing up is going to look different on different days – but do not give up. Do not think that because you aren’t perfect, you can’t show up. Show up for your kids, for your spouse, for your friends … and for yourself. Do not forget to show up for YOU!
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Hi, I’m Kara. Welcome to the today. I am in a podcast where together, we learn how to embrace imperfection and the messes that life leaves behind and overcome our shortcomings together. We will begin to not only see, but to feel who we truly are and who God created us to become.
I am so glad you’re here with me today. I hope you listened to last week’s episode. Of the podcast with Michelle Cox, she shared some incredible information, incredible tips, and shared her incredible story. And I’m so grateful that she was willing to do that. So today I want to talk about showing up in last week’s podcast.
Michelle’s daughter said, mom, just make sure the parents know to just show. It is hard to just show up. Sometimes it’s so difficult when we felt like we need to be perfect. And that is a lie and an expectation that we put on ourselves, it is totally and completely unreasonable. If you think about it, we, hopefully we all know that our kids are not going to be perfect and they’re going to have shortcomings and that they’re learning.
Just because we’re adults, just because we have children just because we’re old enough to have children does not mean that that same expectation should not be given to ourselves. We are learning. I have never been a mother to a 16 year old until a few months ago, and I have never been a parent of a 14 year old daughter.
I’ve been a parent of a 13 year old son, but not my 13 year old he’s different than my 16 year old was. And so. We just need to show up. We just need to show up and do the best you can. That is literally all the expectation that you need to put on yourself that you can show up in the best way possible.
And we talk about this all the time on the podcast, that that is going to look different day to day, like some days. You just can’t like, you just can’t show up and they do all the things and cook all the meals and clean up the dishes and do all the laundry and do your job and all these things.
Sometimes you can’t do it all. And so you can’t have that expectation that just because you did it all on Monday and you were really awesome at doing all the things on your list Tuesday doesn’t mean you’re going to get everything down on your list either. So being forgiving, I’m guessing. And setting realistic expectations day to day is so important because our day-to-day changes, how we feel changes, what we need to do, changes what is demanded of us changes.
There are certain things you have to do on certain days there’s appointments that you have that are going to make it so that you can’t clean all the things all day or whatever. Sometimes the child is sick. And so that can throw a wrench in your day, but it doesn’t mean you should stop showing. When your kids get home from school, if you have the opportunity to be there, show up, just ask them how they’re doing, ask them specific questions instead of just, Hey, how was your name?
Because the older they get, they’re just gonna be like, it was fine. Maybe your elementary kids already do that. I don’t know. A lot of my kids have done that for a long time. So be really specific, ask them who they sat with at lunch, ask them what one of their, like a funny part of their day was, or. Ask them, um, who they hung out with at recess or who they walked home with or who they sat by on the bus, or there’s so many questions, like, just try and get a little specific.
So you can just have that connection for a few minutes after school, do the same thing before they go to bed. And when they wake up, try and have those pivotal times be when you can show up to be with your child and connect with your child, because that is going to be how you can build lasting relationships with.
And it’s hard. It’s hard to show up. So for me, I have Hashimoto’s and sometimes that is really difficult and sometimes I can show up in an awesome way. Sometimes it means by seven o’clock. I am totally and completely beat. I’m exhausted. And sometimes I’m exhausted all day and they all from school and I’m on the couch and that’s all I can do.
And, um, so I, like, I try, I try and have them sit with me and I try and, uh, interact with them and show up in the way that I can. Sometimes I am full of energy and I’m ready to take everybody to all the places they need to go. I’m great with friends. Over and filling my house with, um, kids that are great.
We have so many great neighborhood kids, and sometimes I, I can’t even answer their questions. There’s a lot of kids, which means there’s a lot of questions all the time. And sometimes I can’t handle the extra chaos in my house, but giving the kids other options, whether they go to a friend’s or, or just offering things that they can do at home that will work for.
Is happening that day. I also think we need to show up and learn to show up for ourselves. I think we’re actually really good at showing up for other people generally speaking. And so we can show up for our kids and we can pretend that we’re doing well enough that we can show up for them. But sometimes it’s really, really difficult to show up for.
It’s difficult to take care of ourselves. And we feel really selfish when we do that. And I think, uh, we’re learning, we’re learning what needs to happen. Hopefully you’re learning what needs to happen for you in order for you to show up more fully and be more present in the day to day. So it’s gonna look different for everyone.
I remember I was with a group of friends when. And one of my friends is like, self-care is not a bath for me. Like I do not like taking a bath. So what self care to me? And some people like to go shopping, other people despise shopping. So it’s going to be different. It’s going to look different for each of you.
Maybe it’s just sitting and watching a Netflix show. Maybe it’s painting, maybe it’s, um, bringing back a hobby that you had when you were younger. That just sparks joy. And I think that’s the key is finding something that sparks joy and peace in your life. And that can be really hard to figure out because sometimes we’ve been so consumed by motherhood that we’re not really sure what brings joy to us anymore, besides mothering.
Hopefully that brings joy to you. And I think just working on. Finding that find that things that bring that, that thing that brings joy to you. When, uh, several weeks ago I posted on my Instagram, um, my today I’m enough Instagram and I, I just was really stressed one day and I just couldn’t do it. And so I was like, I’m just going to water color.
I want her color, my little girls love to water color, and I just decided. I was going to do it because I actually really loved doing it with them. And so I sat all by myself. I just pulled up a YouTube video of something. I wanted to water color and I water color this landscape, and I loved it and I just let it dry on my table.
And I cleaned up after myself because I’m not my children, which is fine. They’re learning. And my kids got home and they’re like, who painted that? Like I did actually. And they were all like, wow. That’s kind of good. I was like, oh, thanks. It wasn’t perfect. But I did post it on Instagram because I was proud of myself for taking time to take care of myself and do something that brought me joy.
There was a lot of things that I needed to do that day, but mentally and physically and emotionally I was spent. And so my showing up that day was showing up. It was showing up and creating something that brought me joy that I don’t do all the time. I hardly ever do it. This is the first time I’ve ever done it with all my kids, but it was fun.
I would love to do it again. And I actually have some other water classes saved on YouTube. It was, it was great. And just finding things. That can bring joy and maybe looking outside of the norm, maybe looking outside the box that you’re used to looking at, trying new things, or just finding people. If you need to connect with people to fill that, then find people, find ways to connect with people and it’s going to just help empower you.
It’s going to help you to show up a little bit more. In the little bit better way than maybe you’d be able to before. And like I said, it’s going to change day to day. Sometimes I needed to sit in front of the TV and watch a show and just decompress, but sometimes water cooling water coloring is where I’m going to go.
It’s going to be what I do. And I’m so excited that there are possibilities for everyone. And I hope that you’ll take some time to figure it out. How did take care of yourself so that you can show up in the best way possible for yourself and fulfill your dreams and the things that you’re hoping to fulfill and also show up for your family and for your friends and where you.
Feel is most important in your life for the people that are most important to you in your life. So I hope you have a great day. Thank you so much for joining me. And don’t forget today. You are. Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. If you’re willing to help me out and you love today’s episode, please share it with our friend.
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